


Dear Cas

by Slanguage



Series: Prompts [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Pen Pals AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 07:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3520961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slanguage/pseuds/Slanguage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Cas,</p><p>Why the hell are gas prices so high? I mean, seriously, four dollars? That’s bullshit. It’s apocalyptic. I’ve been complaining about it so much that Sam eventually told me to just shut the fuck up and contact my congressman. I’m totally counting this, Mr. DC Hotshot. Fix my gas prices, or the lowly mechanic of Singer Auto in Lawrence, Kansas? He’s gonna kick the shit out of you like he did back when we were eight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Cas

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt found [here](http://nestingdean.tumblr.com/post/99100055145/scamdal-and-you-know-what-heres-even-more)

Dear Cas,

Why the hell are gas prices so high? I mean, seriously, four dollars? That’s bullshit. It’s apocalyptic. I’ve been complaining about it so much that Sam eventually told me to just shut the fuck up and contact my congressman. I’m totally counting this, Mr. DC Hotshot. Fix my gas prices, or the lowly mechanic of Singer Auto in Lawrence, Kansas? He’s gonna kick the shit out of you like he did back when we were eight.

Nah, but seriously, what’s on your agenda, man? I never hear from you anymore. You’re my only source of entertainment outside of Dr. Sexy, dude. Don’t betray me like that one time Dr. Piccolo betrayed him, that ice-cold bitch.

No seriously, c’mon. Call me. I’m bored.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

You can’t send expletive emails to my work email, Dean. You’re going to get me fired, and then I’m going to have to return to Kansas as a tax accountant and live off of nothing but my sadness and my father’s disproval.

Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad, after being here for a couple of months. I would definitely rather retire to the Roadhouse than to the place all the interns drag me to here. It serves calamari and everyone is always smiling at me weird. This one intern, Hester, tells me that they are flirting, but I think she’s just trying to flatter me.

As for the gas prices, two words, Dean: Public transportation.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say I had to take a bus instead of Baby to work for the sake of our friendship. Don’t let me see or hear you mentioning that kind of blasphemy ever again.

Gordon at the shop is being a total piece of shit, as usual. The guy actually went so far as to try to trip me with a toolbox and, when my cat-like stealth kicked in, he tried to DROP AN ACTUAL CAR ON ME. No joke, dude. Bobby went red in the face. I thought he was going to have a heart attack, or blow up like a grenade. Gordon claimed it was an accident, but everyone knows he’s a lying piece of shit. Considering just murdering him and hiding the body and saving us all the trouble.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

I hope for your sake the NSA doesn’t intercept these emails, since you are STILL SENDING THEM TO MY WORK. Dean, I have four other emails. Put them in a hat, and select one. Surprise me. I’ll even praise your ability to use a keyboard with those deft, skillful fingers that Lisa wrote about in her diary that she slipped you senior year.

Hester asked me out on a date. Does no one have gaydar anymore? Am I just an undercover homosexual, muckraking my way through the sludge of DC? Can I be a secret agent? Gaymes Bond?

I’m hilarious.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Fuck your work email.

Stopped a bar fight with my face. Eating oatmeal with a straw.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

My work email at least wants you to buy it dinner first.

Word of the Gay spread through the office pretty quickly. I could tell you eons of stories about the amount of closet cases that have wandered into my office with flirty smiles. It’s literally your bisexual heaven here, Dean. No virgins and no shame.

That guy Uriel is still being a Tyrannosaurus-sized prick. He literally came in earlier today to tell me that my campaign was destined for failure. We work on the same campaign, Dean. Maybe he got dropped on his head as a child?

Also, Michael stopped by the office for lunch, listened to me bitch about working here and how maybe one day I’m just gonna pack all my stuff up and leave, smirked, told me to “enjoy my illusion of free will”, and then left. So, like, what the FUCK kind of Twilight Zone am I stuck in?

I’m going to go home and sleep for days and, maybe, when I get back, these people won’t be fucking freaks in this town.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Bobby fired Gordon in front of the entire garage today. It was beautiful. Like a birth, or something else that everyone claims is beautiful but is really ugly and full of screaming. I should’ve taken pictures and made some scrapbooks for the occasion.

Gordon took the opportunity to punch me in the face before he left. I’m still fucked up from the bar fight. Needless to say, I have a concussion, and a grudge.

Sam is typing this. He says hi, and that I’m a little bitch who cries his way through sex.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Uriel got fired. Hallelujah.

I finally met the candidate, and he’s fucking WEIRD, dude. Bartholomew literally just fucking sat in his office and stared smiling at a wall for eight hours. EIGHT. I fucking stayed overtime to watch him. I thought there was a television on or something, but nope. He was just staring straight ahead, having a fucking grand old time all by himself. This campaign is the strangest decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. Learn from my mistakes. Stay at home. Keep taking fists to the face.

But, seriously, are you alright?

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

I’m fine. Sam’s a fucking asshole, though.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

You transferred your bad luck to me.

Don’t freak out, but I kind of got hit by a bus.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Ex-fucking-cuse me?

You can’t just be like “lol hey dean what’s up almost died today k bai”.

That’s fucking rude, first of all, and secondly, WTF????

Knock once for yes, two for no: are you dead?

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Knock. Though I want to add an extra knock just because I feel plenty dead inside from this soul-sucking DC shit.

I didn’t look both ways when crossing the street. That was my own folly. So, naturally, a speeding metal beast that weighs easily a couple of tons hip-checked me into the next county. Bruised my ass and can’t even sit on it. Gabriel came by my apartment just to sit and laugh at me for thirty-four minutes before getting up and leaving. Literally didn’t even say a word to me. Thought he was morphing into Bartholomew or something.

Michael didn’t even come by. Lucifer sent flowers. DEAD flowers.

Why did I come here?

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Your family needs fucking therapy, dude. And that’s coming from a guy who should probably be a case study.

It’s good to hear you’re okay, man. You sounded like shit on the phone. Forgot to ask if they even gave you pain meds, or if it’s your internal distaste that’s slowly destroying your spirit.

You should come home. Less buses, less creepy congressmen. More me.

That’s an equation that can’t lose.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Hester kissed me.

Honest to god. I told her I was gay like a week and a half ago, maybe two. And she went for it. Just fucking dive-bombed me with tongue and red lipstick. My face when I pushed her away must’ve been totally horrified because Balthazar choked on an olive and nearly had to be given the Heimlich.

Something’s always happening in this city. It’s fun and exciting, and there’s always a bunch of people and it’s always busy, and there’s nothing quite like seeing those polling numbers go up and knowing that it might be in part because of the kick-ass commercial you wrote (did you see it? It’s broadcasting in Kansas. It’s the one with the mini-horses).

That being said, I really want to be back in Kansas.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Sam showed me the commercial. It’s kick-ass, man. I’d vote for him just for the mini-horses. But now I can just put that on the list of reasons behind “Cas works for him” and “is probably a Terminator”.

I miss you, man. Nothing’s the same around here.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Got in a huge fight with Michael. Haven’t felt this mad in a long time. You didn’t answer, and I don’t feel like talking to your email inbox, so I’m going to drink a liquor store.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

I got your voicemail last night.

Did you mean that, or did you only say it because you were drunk?

Dean

~*~*~*~

Cas,

C’mon, man, I know you’re screening your emails. This is still your work one, and you check it every five minutes. Just answer me. Please. We need to talk.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Stop screening your phone calls, too. I could practically hear your nervous breathing as you ignored my last one.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Seriously, dude. Answer me. We need to talk.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Alright then. If you’re not going to answer my calls or my emails and you’re just going to keep ignoring me to the point that Gabriel actually had to call me and tell me to convince you to stop being so flighty, then I’m just going to talk here and hope that you read it.

You told me you loved me. I know how drunk you were, but, Cas . . .

I need to know. Did you mean it?

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Yes. I did. I’m sorry.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

You’re a fucking idiot.

I love you, too. Moron.

Call me.

Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

I quit my job. Michael freaked. Gabriel gave me a high five. Lucifer sent another bunch of dead flowers.

My flight is getting in at nine at night Kansas time. Pick me up at the airport? (It’s okay if you’re busy.)

See you soon.

Cas

~*~*~*~

Cas,

You’re lying right next to me, asleep, but yeah. We’ve been in different states so long that this just feels natural. Like it’s easier for me to say this to you right now through a screen than in real life. Never said I was perfect, I guess. You did, though. You said that. Maybe one day I’ll even believe you.

I love you, you dork. I missed you so much. Thank you for coming home.

Love, Dean

~*~*~*~

Cas,

Sam fucking saw that email, I know he did, and I know there’s only one person who could have showed him. I don’t know where you are, but I will find you, and I will fucking murder you, you actual piece of shit.

 ~~Love~~ Fuck you, Dean

~*~*~*~

Dean,

Love you too, xoxo~.

Cas

PS: I’m really fucking impressed that you started sending messages to my other email NOW, assbutt. You’re so lucky I love you.

PPS: And I do. I love you.

PPPS: Also, I accidentally dyed your whites pink in the wash. Haha. Whoops.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: shortenedlanguage.tumblr.com
> 
> xo Kay


End file.
